Rebuilding Ourselves
Rebuilding takes courage, time, and a willingness to creatively destroy what is.
We are constantly rebuilding our lives — our homes, our careers, ourselves.
I am rebuilding the cantilevered decks at my condo in Seattle. Like most significant change, this has required careful planning and prep, the destruction of what was, and a commitment to a new version that's even stronger than before.
Yes to all that. And I am so ready to be done.
I've been thinking about how we rebuild as I coach faculty, staff, and senior leaders at St. Elizabeth's School in Denver — a community navigating a significant institutional transition. The rebuild of our careers (whether we’ve chosen to make a change or the change comes unbidden) always involves some degree of planning and preparation.
What we tend to forget (or perhaps avoid?) is that significant change also involves the creative destruction of what was. I say “creative” because rarely do we just blow it all up at once.. Rather, we begin to dismantle our current job, our present situation, or our familiar circumstances. We slowly, even if unconsciously, begin to choose what we bring with us and what gets left behind - physically and emotionally.
And then we rebuild. And we are stronger than before.
As I coach the team at St. E’s, I ground myself in these core beliefs:
It's not always about saying yes to the next opportunity. Sometimes it's about saying no to what doesn't reflect your vision and values.
Fear often gets in our way. Stand before it, call it out — no, really, talk to it out loud — and decide if it's telling you the truth. If so, find a way to address it. Then let it go.
We are more capable than we realize. Odds are we didn't feel fully confident in our current or previous roles either. But we figured it out.
Nothing is forever. Take the chance.
You're not a passenger. Even if you didn't choose this change, you're still in the driver's seat of your own life.
After each career coaching session, I find myself deeply moved by the stories I hear. Each person - teacher, senior leader, and staff member - is in the process of planning for what’s next. They are gradually letting go, dismantling what was, and imagining and gradually rebuilding what can be.
Woven into each coaching session are stories of opportunity, as well as stories of fear and uncertainty. Most of all, these are stories of perseverance and possibility. I continue to be so grateful to be a part of each individual’s rebuilding process.