Packing for Our Insecurities
What We Carry When We Leap
My friend told me, "We pack for our insecurities." And damn if that isn't both painfully true and beautifully profound.
I'm good at packing for vacation. Efficient, strategic, never check a bag. But this? This is different. This isn't a two-week getaway. This is life in two places, van life adventures, and a complete reinvention of how I live and work. For the first time in decades, I'm checking a bag. Actually, I'm checking two bags – one for all the practical stuff, and one for all the emotions that are an inherent part of life's journey.
The Sock Dilemma and Practical Insecurities
How many socks does a person need for a bi-coastal, van life adventure? Apparently, according to my suitcase, approximately 8 pairs. (Which still feels like a lot when you're trying to fit your life into luggage.)
How many shirts? I've packed, unpacked, and repacked three times. Do I really need two dress shirts for van life? What about shoes – running shoes, nicer shoes, hiking boots, beach sandals? When you don't know exactly what your life is going to look like, you pack for every possibility.
And don't get me started on tech. The chargers alone could power a small village. Phone charger, laptop charger, electric toothbrush, shaver, Kindle, international adapters, camera equipment... Each item represents a "what if" scenario my brain has conjured up.
The Emotional Baggage We Carry
But here's the thing – we're not just packing clothes and chargers. We're packing our fears, our need for control, our safety nets. Every extra pair of socks is really about the anxiety of not having what we need. Every backup charger is about the fear of being disconnected, unprepared, vulnerable.
As I stood there, suitcase sprawled open like my life in transition, I realized I was doing emotionally what I was doing practically – packing for every possible scenario. The end of a 40+ year career, the launch of something entirely new, building a life with Jared that spans continents and adventures I've only dreamed of.
What if I'm not ready? What if I've forgotten something crucial? What if that van is smaller than I realized and even the suitcase won't fit?
Edgeworklife and the Art of Enough
Here's what I believe about edgeworklife: we can more boldly step into the unknown when we're prepared in some (not all) ways. Maybe a map, some dates, some basics. The challenge, of course, is that we don't really know what we need until we need it.
And perhaps that's the point.
We need enough preparation to feel brave, but not so much that we're weighed down by the fear of every possible scenario. We need to trust that we have what we need within us, even when the suitcase feels impossibly full or frustratingly empty.
Part of edgework is learning to recognize when we're making decisions based on fear versus adventure. When we're packing for our insecurities versus packing for possibility.
The Resolution: Trust and Learn
After the third round of packing and unpacking, I decided it was time to trust that I did the best I could. Jared helped when he said, "We'll learn what we need. We can bring things back to our home in Seattle." Knowing he launched his Australian adventure a few months ahead of me, I've got a lot of faith in his perspective.
It's an adventure after all, and it's all about learning.
So yes, I'm taking too many socks. Yes, I'm checking bags for the first time in forever. Yes, I'm probably overprepared for some things and underprepared for others.
But I'm also taking courage, curiosity, and a willingness to learn as I go. I'm packing dreams alongside the practical necessities. I'm carrying hope in my carry-on.
What Are You Packing?
As you stand on your own edges, what are you packing for? What insecurities are taking up space in your life? What fears are you carrying that might be heavier than any suitcase?
And more importantly – what dreams are you brave enough to pack alongside them?
The van is waiting. The adventure is calling.
What edge are you standing on? What are you packing for your next the journey?
Follow the adventure and explore your own edgeworklife:
Instagram: @edgeworklife
LinkedIn: drkirkwheeler